Saturday, November 17, 2012

So Many Tears

I never imagined in my wildest dream that on November 12, 2011 that this wonderful cute cuddly golden would work his way into my heart like he did. I also never thought that almost exactly a year later he would be given away to a new home. Banyan could not pass his Service Dog training and was re-homed today. My emotions are all over the place. When I look at pictures I weep so many tears.I question every choice I made from the time we brought him home.

Did I some how contribute to his failing as Jeremy's dog. Did I cause the pain in my chest or was it no fault of my own. I can't stop wondering and wishing I had never gotten on that plane to Colorado back in October. I honestly felt I was doing the best thing for Banyan & Jeremy. Now I wonder if it was the stress that made this awful situation happen. I hate that I couldn't jump on a plane the minute we found out to go pick him up to bring him home. 

I wish we could have brought him home to just be our pet, but we couldn't and now he is gone to a new home. I am at peace with the family who is getting our beloved Banyan but I can't help but wonder if this somehow could of all been avoided.
Now where do we go what do we do to get a dog for Jeremy. Options are limited and funding as well. I just hate feeling like I failed my child & Banyan. It is not a good feeling. Thanksgiving week is usually the happiest week around our home. Instead I can't stop crying.

Here are a few of our favorite Banyan & Jeremy moments from the past 11 months. I ask for prayers from our family & friends that God takes care of Banyan. That he is loved and safe now in his new home. I ask for prayers for me as I try to naviagte this world of Service Dogs with integrity and do what is best for our family.

Banyan's first time swimming at our lake . I got soaked & he loved it!

Banyan turns 1

Thank You Banyan for allowing us to love you for the past year . You have forever changed my life.


Blogging at Tiffany's said...

I'm so upset for you guys. :( Do you have to start all over again? Is it normal for them to just be rehomed when they don't pass the first time? Poor Jeremy. He must be crushed. You guys are in my prayers.

Amanda said...

Tiffany it is always told that the pups may not make it through the training. It is a gamble because the training is so strict especially when the handler will be a child.
We did have the option of flying out to get Banyan to bring home. We would have had to sign a piece of paper saying we knew exactly why he did not pass Noelle's Dogs Four Hope evaluations. Then he would have only been used as a pet in our home.
If we lived in a house that had any type of extra room or if he didn't have the issue he has I would have gone and gotten him. But what was going on with him was going to make it impossible to bring another dog into our home to be a Service Dog. So we decided to work together with his trainer to find the best home possible.

Blogging at Tiffany's said...

Aww, I'm so sorry. I hope you guys will be able to find a good match for Jeremy. Is there any way you can get a dog that has already been through and massed the training? That way you guys don't have to do this again. Ugh, I can't even imagine going through it again. How awful. You guys are in my prayers. You will get through this!

Anonymous said...

:( :( :(
I am so sorry. For me just following the journey it breaks my heart. Do not blame yourself! Thinking about you guys and hope that everything works out in the best possible way.

AmyL said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers.