We put off telling our children about my husbands upcoming deployment for a lot of reasons. The main one being we had hoped they could have a somewhat normal life during this school year. That we could all enjoy our holidays ,birthdays,anniversaries, & milestones together without a deployment cloud hanging over our heads. Tonight that "fake" reality came crashing down for my kids & it broke our hearts. I literally have an ache in my chest & what feels like a rock in my stomach.
I fixed a huge family meal of two different pastas,garlic bread,salad, comfort foods.I had fun setting the table with my youngest even though I knew what was to come at the end of our last "normal" family dinner.Nothing would be normal again for the next 15 to 16 months until their dad returned from Afghanistan the latest deployment .We waited for everyone to eat then I lead into the conversation.I explained that daddy was told he had another trip to go on soon. I could immediately tell from the look on my older boys faces they knew what I meant before I could say the words "it's a long trip again, not a short trip .". My husband went on to say he had to go to Afghanistan this time for twelve or so months & did they have any questions. My second oldest put down his fork jumped up in tears & fled the table to the privacy of his room. My huge almost 13 year old made me almost loose it in front of the other three with his raw show of emotions.We knew he & our youngest would take it the hardest but I hated breaking his heart- it hurts my heart.
The younger two raised their hands like they where in school & asked those innocent questions that reminded us they really have no idea of the dangers that could come from another deployment. All they wanted to know was "Is daddy going be here for my birthday?". We had to two tell two of the children he would miss their birthdays again- the third year in a row for our ten year old. But explained he should be home for the other two birthdays to celebrate. Once again , it broke my heart as our ten year old said "that's ok mom, we can still have a party". I told him of course & if daddy could he would watch everything on SKYPE.The younger ones had forgotten what SKYPE was so we reminded them of how daddy watched them open Christmas presents last time he was in Iraq. Then they where happy & had a few more questions.My oldest stayed pretty quiet which I expected it takes him awhile to process things & I know in his own time the tears will come.
It's a conversation we put off as long as possible but we are so deep into pre-deployment now there was no way to prevent it a day longer.It breaks our hearts because my husband/best friend, their dad hasn't even been home a year yet from Iraq. We all understand this is his job & we are blessed to have him able to provide for our family. But it doesn't make it any easier to know we are going to send him off to war again for another year. Another year with out hunting,wrestling matches in the living room,fishing lessons,& hugs before bedtime.Another year of me having my cell phone permanently glued to my hand,no sleep, dark circles under my eyes,& worry like some people will never feel in their life. Worry that I would never wish on another human being.
I feel better now that the kids know & we aren't hiding it through covert conversations. But now the real test comes into play of enjoying every moment we have left before he leaves with out sadness attached-now that is a challenge I hope I can handle. Because at the moment the tears seem to come at a drop of a hat.
I saw this earlier today & will try to remember it in the upcoming year.
The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable & sad, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.So I will choose to be HAPPY.....
Now the song for the week just popped into my head. It wasn't my original choice, but now that the cat is out of the bag it fits my mood. Head on over to Goodnight Moon to link up your song choice of the week. Here is a little Sarah McLachlan to go along with my mood today.Thanks for stopping by have a blessed day.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
100 Random Facts about Me (pt.3)
Ok people we are only on Part 3 so here is another 25 Random facts about me- I will be glad when this little countdown is finished.Not to sure I'll be starting another countdown anytime soon - besides the one that will lead up to Paul coming home after he deploys. They are much harder then you think!
51. I love waterslides!! I love the drop you get in your stomach as you fly down them!!
52. I love California rolls , but not all sushi- some of it scares me.
53. I have always wanted to adopt a baby from another country
54. I prefer to swim in a pool verses a lake even though we live on one.
55. I love stir fry!! I could eat it every day.
56. I love to talk on the phone- can talk about nothing with friends for hours.
57. I love to repaint my house. I see a new coat of paint going up while Paul is deployed- he never knows what new color will be on the walls when he returns.
58. I love Arbys for fast food & Sonic is a close second.
59. I love to laugh & do it when I am nervous.
60. I DO NOT have a green thumb & kill just about every plant I ever come in contact with.
61. I love the sound of rain- which is good considering I live in the state of Washington.
62. I love to organize events for people- I get very excited & jump into it with both feet never looking back!
63. I went to Hawaii for my senior graduation from High school & haven't made it back yet :0(
64. I HATE the dentist with a passion & will wait years between checkups.
65. Because of #64 I brush my teeth at least 3 times a day sometimes more if I am eating a lot during the day.
66. I wear contacts
67. I love DC & wish I could visit there whenever I wanted
68. I can't read a book more then once except the Bible.
69. I have come to LOVE watching TRUE BLOOD & can't wait for the new season to start!
70. TEAM JACOB!!!!
71. I drove to Forks, WA & was more excited to drive out to La Push to see the beach & cliffs- I have turned into a TWILIGHT fan....much to the husbands dismay.
72. I don't like to wear a lot of jewlery & often only wear my wedding ring/small earrings
73. I love it when my husband buys me pretty jewelry though especially if it is earrings
74. I love to take down old photo albums & look through them all the time.Thus my obsession with taking pictures & documenting everything.
75. I cry sometimes while listening to songs that can bring on a memory & find it very soothing- a good stress release.
There- WOW much harder as we move along. Next week I'll do the last 25 for you all- I know you can hardly wait (said with sarcasm). Tune in tomorrow for my song choice of the week. I have heard several good picks for this week & it will be hard to narrow it down. But that is what I get for watching old movies I love on TV- they have great soundtracks!! Have a blessed & safe Wednesday everyone.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
♫♪♫ Going to the Lodge...Great Wolf Lodge ♫♪♫
We started off Spring break here in the PNW with a cold rainy day,brrrrr. But we were all warm & splashing around while we visited the Great Wolf Lodge! The whole family enjoyed the wave pool, water slides,squirt guns, arcade,arts & crafts area- so much family fun! You really can't ask for a better place to take the whole family for an entertaining activity for every age. When the older kids got tired at the pool, they headed off to the arcade. When the two younger ones where water logged we headed to the arts & crafts room to catch a lesson on Bullfrogs. Lots of good fun & quality family time was had by all. This was our second time to visit so we knew a few little secrets we will share with you all. Then you can just enjoy the fun pictures of all the activities.
1. Check in is at 1:00PM so you can use the water park even if your room isn't ready- Get there by NOON to stand in line.
2.Any person over the age of 12 can get a Key pass scanned onto your braclet you wear during your stay. This helps the parents not have to return to the room when the older kids want to go off on their own.
3.Money can be put on the older kids bracelets as well. Each place they visit can scan them & when their allotted money is gone, it's GONE!! Helps parents with sticker shock while teaching kids budgeting.
4. They have several places you can dine in the Lodge. We take a cooler full of drinks, hotdogs,& snacks to keep in the room. All food is pretty pricey- but all rooms have a microwave. We did Pizza Hut for dinner & lunch in our room. I ran to McDonalds for breakfast items- you save big time bringing in your own snacks!
5.Ask for a Patio room & the sliding glass door leads directly to one of the parking lots. Very easy access to unload & reload the car during the trip.
6. If you are Military they offer a good discount- either call or enter the word "HEROES" on-line.
7. First time visitors may want to stay 2 days- after that 1 day is plenty because everyone get's worn out in the 85 degree swim area.
8. Those with kids 9 & under don't miss Story time in the main lobby at night- the trees come alive with singing animals.Plus you get to meet Violet & Wiley the Wolves- while mom enjoys a glass of wine or coffee from starbucks.
9.Wear your swimsuits to the lodge so when you check in- you are ready to go! They have lockers but they cost$10 to rent for the day.
Most of all just go prepared to get really wet,really silly, & leave super tired!!
In our room
Arts & Crafts room with Jacob- Jeremy
Water fountain time
Jeremy meeting Violet & Wiley the Wolves
Even dad had a smile on his face from all the fun
1. Check in is at 1:00PM so you can use the water park even if your room isn't ready- Get there by NOON to stand in line.
2.Any person over the age of 12 can get a Key pass scanned onto your braclet you wear during your stay. This helps the parents not have to return to the room when the older kids want to go off on their own.
3.Money can be put on the older kids bracelets as well. Each place they visit can scan them & when their allotted money is gone, it's GONE!! Helps parents with sticker shock while teaching kids budgeting.
4. They have several places you can dine in the Lodge. We take a cooler full of drinks, hotdogs,& snacks to keep in the room. All food is pretty pricey- but all rooms have a microwave. We did Pizza Hut for dinner & lunch in our room. I ran to McDonalds for breakfast items- you save big time bringing in your own snacks!
5.Ask for a Patio room & the sliding glass door leads directly to one of the parking lots. Very easy access to unload & reload the car during the trip.
6. If you are Military they offer a good discount- either call or enter the word "HEROES" on-line.
7. First time visitors may want to stay 2 days- after that 1 day is plenty because everyone get's worn out in the 85 degree swim area.
8. Those with kids 9 & under don't miss Story time in the main lobby at night- the trees come alive with singing animals.Plus you get to meet Violet & Wiley the Wolves- while mom enjoys a glass of wine or coffee from starbucks.
9.Wear your swimsuits to the lodge so when you check in- you are ready to go! They have lockers but they cost$10 to rent for the day.
Most of all just go prepared to get really wet,really silly, & leave super tired!!
In our room
Hunter heading down a slide
Waiting for the bucket with 500 gallons of water to drop
Jeremy meeting Violet & Wiley the Wolves
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Block Leave Means "Family"
Well my soldier husband started his Block Leave last Saturday & has been in Colorado visiting his family since Sunday. He has had fun I can tell by the Facebook pictures & our conversations. But it was so nice to hear him tell me he was ready to come home yesterday morning when he called.All military families know that Block Leave usually means one of two things in our world.
1. Your soldier just returned from a deployment & his unit gave everyone a few weeks off for reintegration.
2. Your soldier's unit will be leaving soon for an upcoming deployment :0(We are on number two so Block Leave as much as we want to enjoy it is very bitter sweet at the moment. I will pick up my husband late tonight from the airport . The kids started Spring Break today & are super excited that for once dad is off work to have some fun! We are heading to the Great Wolf Lodge in Ground mounds, WA for some waterpark fun & we can hardly wait! My husband is also thinking if the rain stays away he will be able to take the boys camping & fishing for a couple nights, These fun family times are going to be few & far in between after leave is over so we are happy to get some family time now. I hope to capture a lot of these moments on camera so they last us through the upcoming months after he leaves.Very bittersweet moments but I am so grateful we have this time & plan to make the most of it! I am sure my friends on FB will get tired of all the new pictures we will post. But this is how my husband keeps up with everything while he is gone . He loves that he can go look at my photos anytime he wants over & over.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend & enjoy your time with family. I know we will & I will post more about our Spring Break adventures later in the week.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
What's Your Jam-week #2 for me....
Thursday brings with it the almost close to a long rainy,windy, & cold week here in the Pacific Northwest. It also means go over & see the links at Goodnight Moon to link up for What's your Song week #6 for them, but only week #2 for me.
A little background on my song choice for this week. I was cleaning out my closet & came across a cassette tape labeled "Kristy's music". I stopped smiled & laughed out loud. Kristy was one of my Best Friends in my college days. We meet the first week of school at David Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN & pretty much where inseparable for the next four years. Our circle included my other best friends Misty,Paula, & Ron. We where the Four musketeers & watch out we where a handful to say the least!
Our story came to a tragic end in our senior year during Spring Break week. The one & ONLY time we decided to skip our usual pilgrimage to PCB to stay in Nashville to work & study- I know what where we thinking?? I have gone over that week a million times in my head with "what if we had gone", would my best friend still be here? Kristy passed away in a tragic two car wreck late into our week - my college life was never the same again. My world felt like it had crashed down. Her sister Kathy & I where left to try to make sense of her loss. I lived with her she was my roomate & like a sister. Even though at the time we weren't living together we where only one street away. We pledged the same sorority & she was at the time our sorority President- it left a HUGE hole in my world.
Anyway back to the tape I found- I was in charge of Kristy's Memorial service which meant it MUST have music! We loved to sing & dance all the time. I decided to put together a collection of her favorite songs to have playing as people came in to sit & wait for the service to start. One of OUR favorites at the time was 10, OOO Maniacs- These are the Days. As I popped the tape into a stereo in my house & that song came flooding out over the speakers I danced! With my son who thought mommy was losing it & sang at the top of my lungs! I laughed & smiled - I just knew Kristy was there with me reminding me that even still today to cherish every moment because you never know what tomorrow holds. So my song choice this week is dedicated to Kristy, Ron, Paula, & Misty. May we always remember the good old days & cherish all the wonderful days we still have together. ~Love you Kristy~
Misty, Kristy , & Me during Pledge Week
Some of us during our Pledge period painting the Bison
Graduation Day with Ron, thinking of Kristy
EDIT: Go read the comments so you understand why there is now 2 songs to listen to today :0)
A little background on my song choice for this week. I was cleaning out my closet & came across a cassette tape labeled "Kristy's music". I stopped smiled & laughed out loud. Kristy was one of my Best Friends in my college days. We meet the first week of school at David Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN & pretty much where inseparable for the next four years. Our circle included my other best friends Misty,Paula, & Ron. We where the Four musketeers & watch out we where a handful to say the least!
Our story came to a tragic end in our senior year during Spring Break week. The one & ONLY time we decided to skip our usual pilgrimage to PCB to stay in Nashville to work & study- I know what where we thinking?? I have gone over that week a million times in my head with "what if we had gone", would my best friend still be here? Kristy passed away in a tragic two car wreck late into our week - my college life was never the same again. My world felt like it had crashed down. Her sister Kathy & I where left to try to make sense of her loss. I lived with her she was my roomate & like a sister. Even though at the time we weren't living together we where only one street away. We pledged the same sorority & she was at the time our sorority President- it left a HUGE hole in my world.
Anyway back to the tape I found- I was in charge of Kristy's Memorial service which meant it MUST have music! We loved to sing & dance all the time. I decided to put together a collection of her favorite songs to have playing as people came in to sit & wait for the service to start. One of OUR favorites at the time was 10, OOO Maniacs- These are the Days. As I popped the tape into a stereo in my house & that song came flooding out over the speakers I danced! With my son who thought mommy was losing it & sang at the top of my lungs! I laughed & smiled - I just knew Kristy was there with me reminding me that even still today to cherish every moment because you never know what tomorrow holds. So my song choice this week is dedicated to Kristy, Ron, Paula, & Misty. May we always remember the good old days & cherish all the wonderful days we still have together. ~Love you Kristy~
EDIT: Go read the comments so you understand why there is now 2 songs to listen to today :0)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
100 Random Facts (pt.2)
It's time again for 25 more Random facts you may or may not know about this girl! I hope you learn something new or laugh because you already know how "Random" I really am- have a great Wednesday everyone!
1.I watch Grey's Anatomy every Thursday it's on even if its a rerun with a glass of wine
2.I love Weimaraners so much- they are beautiful & I have 2
3.My favorite food is Chinese- YUM!!!
4.But my favorite Chain Restaurant is Olive Garden- I know weird~
5.My favorite season is FALL- I love all the beautiful colors especially around our lake
6.I love a man in Uniform- pretty sure my breath catches everytime my husband puts on his Dress Blues <<sigh>>
7.I worry non-stop all the time about silly random things- even though I try not to
8. My parents live in Gatlinburg TN
9. I have one brother who is 13 months older then me
10.I have strawberry blonde hair naturally- I color it darker red
11.I now have 3 tattoos I LOVE- got them over the past 7 years & they each have a very special meaning to me.
12.One of my son's has a Rare disease called Sturge-Weber & he is with me 24/7
13.I homeschool my special Angel
14.I was raised in TN & KY Southern Girl for sure.
15.I am ALWAYS on time or EARLY- hate to be late anywhere!
16.Pancakes from Cracker Barrel are My favorite breakfast!
17.I hiked up Mt. Rainer this summer with friends & it was AMAZING!
18.I love my pedicures & manicures
19.I have more girl friends then male
20.I am learning about Soccer since the youngest loves it so much.
21.Diet Pepsi girl- HATE Diet Coke & will drink water if there is no choice
22. I am only 5'4
23.I have freckles
24.I love all types of music & will listen to country,rap,classical,heavy metal all in one day.
25.I really want to go to Ireland & Australia one day for vacation- it's on my Bucket list
WOW- that is harder then you think! I sure hope I can come up with 50 more- but I am half-way done now. I hope you where surprised- I know a couple people will be by the tattoos. I love mine & I consider them art. Only 1 of them is placed where others can see it.It is for my Husband of 15 years.I thought long & hard about getting them & decided why not?? Aywhooo enjoy your day & see you back here again tomorrow for my Favorite Song pick of the week.
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