Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Being Bold

Ok so if you don't want to hear a few of the plain hard facts & truths of how this momma is feeling right now here is your WARNING: LEAVE THIS BLOG NOW!!

Taking a page from a great blogger over at My Camo Kids who decided to tell it like it is about her recent new deployment . I am right there with her at the moment only mine is the tail end of the deployment phase. Here goes hang on folks you may hear things you don't like but guess what ? It's the truth & the way I feel at the moment so deal with it please like grown - ups. Only leave comments that won't get you yelled at & possibly beat up by this tired Army wife & mom.

 First yes I know I should be excited that I am now mere weeks away from seeing my husband after ten long months- but NO that does not make it any easier now then it did when he left. As a matter of fact I'm even more exhausted & tired! Why you may ask because the four boys have now declared WAR on eachother- NON- STOP!! They apparently have used up all their good moods/ manners at school . When they arrive home they argue, fight, yell all night or day long! I'm tired of playing referee!

Second just because your husband is just starting a deployment does not mean my deployment experience is any less valid because my husband will be home . EXCUSE ME- he has been gone ten months while your husband was still home with you & your kids! Please get over yourself and realize we are all going through deployment hell together so shouldn't we all be supporting eachother not comparing who has it worse?

Third stop thinking you are coming to Homecoming with my family if I haven't asked you. This time is so emotional for my boys & me that we can barely make it through by ourselves let alone with others present. We always have one person who I take who is a friend of mine to take pictures. But she stays back quietly we never know she is there. She leaves in her own car & gives me the pictures later. Homecoming is special, private time filled with extreme emotions that unless you've been through it you can't possibly understand so please don't pretend you can. Don't expect because your a friend you get to come. Reintegration to me is THE HARDEST part of a deployment cycle. In our home we barely had Paul home for five months before orders dropped again- so we never really even bonded again before he left. We have a long hard road ahead. He has missed three consecutive birthdays of Jeremy's. his kids have grown, changed not only physically but emotionally- BACK OFF let us get to know each other again. This time would include the first few weeks he is home as well. Call say hello, leave a Welcome Home on Facebook- but please don't be offended if we aren't running to invite you over.

Fourth did I mention I'm exhausted! Maybe even more so then when this started- sleep what is sleep?? So if I act like I'm fine just know asking is a super loaded question so be prepared. You could possibly get the nice " I'm fine" or you could get the total break down in tears me. Emotions are running high- so suck it up & ask with caution then be prepared to accept you may not like what you hear.

Anyway that's my vent for the day- I'm hanging on to my rope for six more weeks. I am on what I call the steep downhill slope of the roller coaster ride from Hell!! We all go through phases this is my phase at the moment. This is my life & I'm Ok with it, but I'm SOOOOO ready for it to be OVER!

** Edit**
Thank you to all my close friends who have read this then chose to send me some outrageously funny emails. You've made me laugh so hard- for that I am grateful ** 

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