Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Happy, Sad , & Everything in Between

So as soon as my feet hit the floor this morning I have become an emotional mess-literally. I read all the post's online about the Delta Airlines travesty. Seriously can't believe they don't give their agents lead-way to allow our soldier's the right to carry on as many bags as they need when they are in uniform?? Full on disgust with them filled me as I prepared to get the kids & my husband up and moving for the day.

Then my older boys both jumped up off the couch as my husband was telling them goodbye to head into work. Something he does all the time if they are awake. Well today both of those huge teenagers took turns giving their dad huge bear hugs & telling him they loved him. That they hoped he had a good day at work. A smile spread across my face as I watched holding my coffee cup as well as tears formed in my eyes. I so wish I had grabbed my camera off the counter & snapped a picture for them all to have later. But I was in shock & emotional. They always hug their dad at night before bed- but random bear hugs are rare these days. It just goes to show how much the past two weeks & the passing of Cliff has affected my whole family. We are telling eachother we love eachother a lot more & trying not to argue with one other . I know it may be short lived but I pray it isn't. I hope these last few weeks has taught  my boys how precious life is & how it can all change in an instant.

Then I go to drop my youngest off at school & notice the mailman has already come for the day. I stop on the way back by to pick up our mail for the day. I see a card in the mail addressed to our whole family. The return label is from close friends of our family. I open it when I get in the door & immediately have tears again. They know Paul is deploying again soon as well as of our friend's passing. They thanked our whole family for Paul's service & expressed their condolences on Cliff's passing. Such an unexpected card that was so thoughtful . I can not express how much their small act of kindness has touched me & I am sure Paul as well.

So to say I feel like I have a mood disorder today is putting it lightly. I feel bad for the poor Vet as I head in with Panzer for his check-up. Who knows what they may say that might cause me to tear up. I have always joked around about needing drugs for my mood swings during deployment times- but it may not be such a bad idea today.Hopefully I can get past all these sudden bursts of emotions so my poor husband doesn't want to run screaming from our home onto the plane -LOL Thankfully he loves me & I know he'll just put up with it & hug me through it.

2 comments:

Maranda said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. You have had a lot going on and you know all too well what lies ahead of you. If you need to cry, cry. Your family will love you no matter what. xoxoxoxoxo

Lee said...
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