I Won't Give Up

It's funny because I keep hearing this new song everywhere this week. I really love the words. I feel like God has me listening to it over & over this week so I know I can do all the things that are set before me on my overflowing plate at the moment. I have the four boys going in all different directions in their lives. I always feel like I'm missing something where they ae concerned because there is only one grown-up in the house at the moment. I get so exhausted at times and hate when I hear myself saying "later I'll do such & such later with you". But yesterday at their parent teacher conferences all I heard was compliments on everything from their behaviors to their school work. I heard that my youngest is beyond smart & social. He is making huge strides in his behaviors this year. I learned that Jeremy for the first time EVER had conquered all his Occupational therapy goals!!-WHOO-HOO!! His OT thinks he could even not need her next year if his progress continues! This is HUGE as he has been going since he was 5 years old.

Then when I went to my oldest son's conference he presented an amazing Powerpoint presentation full of animation. He already has his future mapped out through to his graduation of Law school to passing the BAR. WOW! I look back and remember I was the same way only I just wanted to graduate from four years of college with a teaching degree. His schedule for his sophomore year is hard & he picked his classes all himself. He is so excited & enthusiastic still about school that I prayed last night God let's him succeed so his enthusiasm remains. His grades where good & his teachers love him-YAY Next came son number two who has always been the one to know which of my buttons to push. He has struggled the last two deployments only at home with me & his behavior. At times I want to scream at the top of my lungs "why why do I get all the sarcastic rude comments but you behave for everyone else?". I know this is just part of his anger about his dad being gone alot as well as his personality. He came out screaming & has never looked back. But his teachers where giving him high marks and praise. His English teacher who gave him an A actually told him " You could do better if you paid closer attention". That made my day to know she thought he could get an A+ as he has to work his tail off for his good grades unlike son #1 & #4 who are just naturally good at school. I left all the conferences thinking maybe I wasn't doing such a horrific job with the boys these past ten months on my own after all- thank you Jesus!

Then came time for the puppy- the wonderful ball of soft squishy golden fur who demands almost all my time. It was time to head to puppy class where I honestly never know how Banyan will  behave. It's gotten to the point where I was dreading Wednesday  night class every week. Last night Banyan showed up with his best service dog brain WORKING!! He did everything I asked the first time & even shocked his teacher. I train him everyday all the time. He is rarely not learning something. Even when he was swimming this week at the lake. At one point I had him come sit & wait by me while he had to watch Panzer swim. He was shaking with excitement it was very hard for him. He did so good last night it gave me hope that I am not messing up the dog either.

It's hard as a single parent even for just one year every other year lately to not get overwhelmed. I have about eight different balls I'm juggling & if one falls they all seem to crash. As I heard this song played every time I turned on the radio this week , I sang along. I realized if I just breathe and keep plugging along never give up on the kids, the dogs, the friends, or myself we will be just fine. That I have to try and be more positive when I hear other wives complain or whine (because that's what it sounds like to me ) when they only have one or two children who are ALL Healthy about how hard their life is at the moment. That this moment to them is hard!  I have to stop thinking "lady try living in my world for a day- you would not be complaining". I have to stop thinking like that so I can keep going and realize even though I have a whole big bundle of things on my plate- God knows I can handle it if I just trust him. That he has sent people into my life this year to help  me along my path if I just let them. Which I admit is hard for me to do, I hate asking for help. Another thing I think multiple deployments has made me, very overly independent. It's not a bad thing just something I need to work on for myself to not feel so overwhelmed. 
Anyway back to the song, I love the words and the sound. It makes me teary every-time because it reminds me so much of all the struggles as a wife & mom I go through while Paul is away. That I know I won't give up- I can't because I love my family to much.

I live for my family & they ask for a lot in return my love- oh wait that isn't hard to give. The boys love me no matter what kind of day I'm having. Even the dogs love me when I'm exhausted and the tears flow. They know mom's good she won't give up on us, even though the skies have gotten rough. She never has before & she never will.

The Blah's....a Note to My Love

Making plans to go to the Pumpkin Patch this weekend & dinner with our friends has given my the BLAH's.....since your not here.

It's always nice to fill my weekends with activities so time passes faster & with laughter instead of tears. But it is always very noticeable to me that you should be here with us enjoying these moments. I am grateful for the dinner invitations with our dear friends. But it makes me sad when I look around the table & your not there. It's hard to smile & laugh with our friends when they have their other half seated next to them. 

I am Loving you & Missing you Always......

5 Days & Counting

In case you all don't know it in FIVE DAYS I'll happily be driving with my good friend Bekah for a day & night in Portland, OR to watch Mr. Kenny Chesney.....ahhhh  He is my second choice for a husband if I had to pick one-lol No worries Paul knows about my obsession with the man himself. We even went together before deployment number 3 to see Kenny with Sugarland- it ROCKED!! One of the BEST concerts I had been to in years. It just further cemented my love of the Country Star. I just wanted to throw is out there that I can't wait! Bekah & I bought tickets in the Pre-sale just like last time. We will be having a blast in just FIVE short Days & I Can't Wait!!

This is Sam, Bekah, & Me at our last Kenny Concert- what a Great night! This time Sam can't make the concert with us  :0( But Bekah & I will sing along nice & loud for her maybe enjoy a Corona or two....YAY!!

The beer company that sponsors the object of my obsession.


To say I can't wait is an Understatement,so freaking excited! I will post a little video for you incase you don't listen to kenny (gasp!) Not sure why anyone wouldn't but let me help you just incase.

Brotherly Love....NOT

Not a lot going on this week to post about so I haven't done much blogging. This video clip was sent to me on Mother's Day & it made me laugh so hard! I can totally seeing this take place in a few years in my home. I know the boys "love" eachother, but some days it's hard to tell. But when it comes to taking pictures, making cards, showing me they love me - they always try. That is way with out further ado, I share the following video. That all you moms out their can truly appreciate the effort your children make to show "brotherly love"-HAHA!!

Smother your Mother

Sunday is always a busy day for us in our family. I wanted to post a day early to take a moment to say Thank You to my Mother as well as my Grandmother on my dad's side. Both wonderful women hold a special place in my heart. I know that I don't get to see them as often as I would like but such is the military life. The last Mother's Day we spent together was my first over fourteen years ago when my oldest son was only nine months old. I can hardly believe I now have four handsome boys who surprise me daily with their spunky beautiful personalities. I now know what my mom meant when she said you never stop loving your children no matter what they may do in their lives. I have experienced it first hands on days when sibling rivalry occur, report cards come home, testing of boundaries happen as they spread their wings. I am grateful for my mom & my grandmother who always set the best christian example for me to learn so many things. How to have never ending patience, how hugs through tears & laughter are the best. They always made me feel special & they still do today. Thank you so much for your loving guidance all these years.

Now to have a little fun for all my Mommy friends out here in Blog world who need a good laugh because we are right in the trenches these days. We are wiping tears, snotty noses,putting band aids on cuts,teaching life lessons daily. We love the little monsters angels with all our hearts, but are very sleep deprived. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day full of Love & Laughter. To help you with the laughter part go take a look at this hysterical video I came across thanks to a friend.  Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.

  In tha Muthahood , lyrics that we can all relate too! It's not all Rainbows & Birthday Cake all the time. Some-days it's throw up, poopy diapers, fussy kids, & talking back- it's called Living in tha Muthuhood!!  Any mom out there who says her child is perfect is obviously in DENIAL!! Don't hate just smile because you never know what she might be going through with her kiddos. I know I sometimes say my kids are GREAT ! I figure if I say it enough on the days they are driving me completely insane maybe I'll actually believe it before they make me loose it. Enjoy your hard earned day moms- may you get Smothered in Love!!